Waiting

 While I was working in my sewing room, I was doing some machine embroidery.  As I was looking for the spool of thread I wanted to use, I had to go through many that were all jumbled up because I have more thread than I have drawer space.  Suddenly, it occurred to me that the rolling cabinet that MH had, which was identical to mine, was just sitting there empty.  In that instance, I realized that I was giving myself permission to use it.  Yes, I had cleared out his possessions over 2 months ago, but the few things I kept were just sitting there, as if he was going to come back and use them.  I realized I was in a "waiting" mindset. That mindset will be easier to push aside once I start receiving my monthly annuity.  Because, really, that is the last thing (and biggest thing) I am waiting for.